I recently learned that someone on a board I visit was given 3 weeks to live. My first thought was what a horrible think to know. That you don't even have another month. No plans to eventually visit Paris. No getting together with a friend next month. No longer able to make a long term goal. That is it. If you have not done it yet, well you aren't going to do it now.
Then I started thinking about all the people I know who are depressed. That would willing die in her place. How can this woman that wants to live, to make plans, to dream of the future have her time on Earth cut short. How can her life be taken from her while so many others would rather be in her place. It seems to unfair. It makes me realize that life is something, that we should want to live. What, I wonder, would this woman give for another year, month, week. To meet another goal, to make another friend, to train another dog, to run another course. How selfish of me that I would want to give it all up.
She was successful. She trained several dogs in agility. She helped numerous dogs find new homes. Her friends are the kind that go to bat for her and help her run agility one more time. She earned several titles on her dogs, and today she won another. Even knowing that it was her last one she did not give up. She wanted that title and she went and got it. She didn't just give up and say, we that was enough. I did what I could. She ran again. I don't even know about her personal life but I can not image that someone who was that successful in one area of her life would be any less successful in others.
That is what I lack. Success. I have never been successful. Oh, now, this is not a pity part. It just is what it is. I started so many things only to lose interest or give up. I try and try again but lack something that makes other complete what they started. I feel like a failure and don't try.
I swore that agility would be something I would finish. Maybe not get a MACH on Remington, but at least get one Q. Just a small goal, and I want to quit with him. He is not up to it. I just does not like it. I am continuing on with Grace and Zoe, and I am not even forgetting about Remington. I am going to keep working with Remmy. I will.
I started teaching the dogs a "intermediate bridge." The long and short of what a intermediate bridge is game of "hot and cold" with your dog. I followed the instruction in the May 2007 Clean Run magazine. I'll add a link later, but as I am the only one who reads this blog anyway, I already know where the article is. I started using the word "Great" making the "grrrrr" sound for the intermediate bridge.
Amazingly Zoe picked it up right away. She got from treating the word "great" to targeting in about 2 min. She already knew how to target, but she did it well anyway. Then i went to the weaves. She also weaves fairly well, but not all that fast. We tried doing the intermediate bridge with that too. Perfect!
My timing needs work. I have a hard time running, grring, only at the correct times and then rewarding. I had a really difficult time with this when teaching Zoe to 2o2o. She did it right, I just couldn't get my cue to "wait" out and then "grrr"
Well here she is not doing a 2o2o but this was taken a few days ago.
Gracie did wonderful with the whole process too. I have started noticing that she just really gets board quickly. Grace is very smart and she picks up things so quickly. If I ask her to do something she is doing well repeatedly, she wants to move on. It just is not rewarding. She also does not like grass, so if we are working on grass she loses her interest quickly.
Remmy was too scared. The wind was blowing and the chickens were around us and it was all just too much for him. I started the intermediate bridge for him. I thought if I could communicate that he was doing well he would want to keep trying. I am still hoping that this will be. That we get it. That he can over come in ever mounting number of fear.
I just want to be able to die knowing that I was successful at something. Even if it is just to help a small dog overcome his fears.